He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
