You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
