I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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