She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
