I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i now understand why vodka
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
ok first of all what the fuck
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
