I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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