I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
