do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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