Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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