hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
