A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
