Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
