You're completely useless in the revolution.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
