I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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