i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
