i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
