Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
