DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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