girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
