you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
