I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
