Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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