dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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