Is it normal to miss your booty call?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
