It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
