Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
