I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
