you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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