we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
