Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Drunk is not a location!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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