Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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