Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
