We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
