You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
