Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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