You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
