its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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