I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
