i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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