Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
