Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
