i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Buhtt sex?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
