just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
