youre lurking in front of me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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