Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
