Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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