yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
