Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
