but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
