i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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