yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
